Dramatic Irony
by Irene T447
Summary: Everyone knows about Zelda's many disguises. But just how far is she willing to go to find her true love? Byrne recently got a girl, Sheik of the Sheikah, and things are going swimmingly. Strangely, Sheik seems extremely averse to going on a double date with Link and Zelda. And when Nabooru walks into school with a new girlfriend Tetra on her arm, things get...interesting.
1. Chapter 1

"Ooh," A high pitched voice intoned deviously, "does someone have a date tonight?"

Zelda spun around in her seat before the vanity. She clutched her heart and breathed heavily. Red and yellow eyes squint out behind a mask of devilish humor.

"Midna!"

The flame haired Twili fell back onto Zelda's bed in a fit of laughter. Zelda scowled and returned her attention to the mirror. She wore a flowing dress dyed a rich purple with swirling floral designs reaching abstractly up the length of the body. She had been applying a light layer of make up before being startled by her best friend.

"Give me a heart attack, won't you?" The brunette muttered, "What brings you here?"

Midna righted herself, settling her petite black dress and sitting attentively on the pink comforter, "I just wanted to see you before Link does."

Zelda rolled her green eyes, "You could have called," She picked up her smart phone, "Or at least texted me."

"Someone sounds nervous."

"I am not!"

"You do too," Midna burst into another fit of laughter, and Zelda shot another glare in her direction through the mirror.

"I'm just angry that you warped in here without telling me," Zelda justified, clipping a silver chain around her neck.

"Or not," Midna grinned, literally floating over on a cloud of shadows to stand beside her friend, "I see that necklace. It's your good luck chain," The Twili waggled her finger, "You only wear that when you're expecting _Divine Intervention_ to come to your rescue."

Zelda let out a _hmph_ and shooed Midna away with a gentle shove. The Twili dramatically fell back against the bed with a dramatic sigh.

"So, Link's finally going to meet your parents tonight?" Midna cleared her throat.

Zelda responded with a tilt of her head, "That's right."

"Well?" Midna's voice rose, "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

Put her head in her hands and shook it, "I really don't know. It could go either way. Either my parents will love him, or…"

Midna made explosion sounds with her mouth, mimicking a mushroom cloud with her blue hands.

"That would be pretty accurate."

"Why?" Midna prompted with childish enthusiasm.

"Sometimes Link will do things…well, he's abrupt. And he won't always think before he speaks, or acts, for that matter. So long as he doesn't say anything inappropriate, I think we'll be just fine," Zelda elaborated.

"You might want to put a silencing charm on him," Midna winked, "Just to keep him quiet. I mean, he's handsome enough to get by with his devilishly good looks."

"Oh, _I know," _Zelda blushed.

"No, I mean, seriously. You might want to consider it."

Zelda laughed, "I don't even know how to do that. Would you mind teaching me?"

Midna wiggled her eyebrows, "Maybe some other time, you little _princess_."

Zelda stuck her tongue out at the moniker. She pulled her hair back and sighed. Dissatisfied, she undid it and started anew, brushing the brown ends furiously.

"So, how are things between you and Mr. Team Captain?" The Twili asked.

"Oh, the same. I mean, we just started dating, so it's pretty straightforward…He's nice to me, and I think he really cares."

Midna laughed, "That's what I thought about Zant. And then he dumped me when he found out he was gay and left me for some guy named Ghirahim."

Zelda's face pinched, "I really don't think Link is gay. Just a feeling."

Midna shrugged, "Well you never know until, well, you know," She laughed, "Have you ever considered dating several people at the same time just to get a feel for them before you go and choose?"

Zelda flashed her a horrified look.

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

"Is that…" Zelda whispered, "Is that even a thing? Do people do that?"

"It's what I've been doing," Midna admitted, " It's not bad, none of it's too serious. If you and Link aren't snogging yet, I don't think it's too late. Besides, you're doing disguises in magic class, aren't you? You could just dress up as someone else to avoid conflict."

Zelda continued to stare at her friend with a horrified expression. After a moment, she shook her head to clear it, "Now, that just sounds decietful…I…"

Midna quirked an eyebrow, "What is it?"

"Well, I've been running around using disguises already. Sort of as practice. I'm using my acting so that I'll be ready for this year's musical. I've taken on a few personas, just running around the city, going into shops, cafes, amusement parks, you know?"

"Sure."

Zelda's face hardened, "But that doesn't mean I'll go and do _that_. I'll see how things go with my parents tonight. For all we know, Link will say something dumb and Dad will get a restraining order," She rolled her eyes, "_Dad_…"

Midna laughed, snapping her fingers. A plume of shadows erupted from the end of her index finger and deftly did Zelda's hair into a stylish side braid.

Zelda flashed her friend with a brilliant smile, relief flooding her chest.

"There you go," Midna grinned, "You little princess. So, where is Link now?"

Zelda rose from her seat at the vanity, packing away her makeup and brushes, "Oh, I don't know. Knowing him, he's probably off fencing with one of his friends."

* * *

"-Hyah!"

"-Toh!"

Link shook the sweat from his eyes from beneath the mask. He crept forward in his stance, waiting for his opponent to make a move. At the sign of a foot opening, he lunged, scoring a point.

Byrne was a much larger boy in build. At first, Link had trouble scoring points due to the other's shockingly rapid reflexes, but after having practiced for nearly two years with one another, Link was able to get beneath the other boy's guard. Both boys were on the Hylian Academy's varsity fencing team. Although Link was the male team captain, there were no hard feelings between the two rather competitive seventeen year olds. In fact, they were the best of friends.

"Nice." Byrne panted as they reset, "Are we tied again?"

Link nodded, exhausted, "Yeah, wanna call it a day."

Byrne removed his mask, his black hair haphazardly falling out of its ponytail. The Lokomo looked up to the giant clock with his narrow amber eyes, squinting at it as the hands read four o'clock, "We've been going at it for almost two hours. Yeah, I'm beat. Got somewhere to be?"

"Yup," Link nodded, "We'll continue this tomorrow during practice, right?"

"Right," Byrne replied, grasping Link's hand in a firm handshake, "Good match."

Byrne mopped the sweat from his brow before tossing the towel into his gym bag. As he zipped his school's fencing uniform in, Link sauntered in from the showers, knocking water from his pointed ears.

"Fancy footwork," The blonde swordsman commented, "Have you been practicing?"

Byrne nodded, undoing his long black hair from its ponytail to comb it out.

"Yeah, Aunt Anjean has a friend who's been training me lately," Byrne said, "Are you still going to regional's?"

Link rotated his left shoulder and hissed as something cracked, "Nah. I'm going to sit out this time around."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Link shrugged, "The doctor told me to rest up. Can't argue, right?"

"Right. Shame, though. You were working really hard for this," Byrne commented, putting the comb down on the bench, "You don't have to have surgery or nothing, right?"

Link ran a hand through his wet hair, "No, it's not that bad. Just a bit of tendonitis. "

Byrne tied his hair off again with a concerned frown, "Should you be training?"

Link grabbed his gym back and started changing, "Oh, yeah. I'm clear for stuff like this. If I were to go to competition it'd be a totally different story," He slid into a white dress shirt and black pants, "How do I look?"

Byrne grinned, "Wait, is it Friday already?"

"It was seven days ago," Link ran his hands down his front, "Should I wear, like, a bow tie or something?"

"Nah, you look pretty great," Byrne smirked, "There's just one problem."

Link glanced up, blue eyes dead serious, "What's that?"

"Your hair looks stupid."

Byrne jumped up on the bench and assaulted his friend, running his sweaty hands through the blonde's hair. Link elbowed him and twisted his assailant into a choke hold. Byrne ran Link into a row of lockers while Link's grip tightened. The blonde grabbed Byrne's ponytail holder and undid it before giving his friend a rough noogie.

"Ok, uncle! Uncle!" Byrne gasped and Link released him.

Link turned towards a mirror, "What's your problem? Dude!" He flattened his hair.

Byrne gave a deep chuckle, "Oh, come on. You are so tense about this! You've met her parents before, haven't you?"

"Nope."

Byrne's grin disappeared, "Oh…"

"Yeah," Link barked, "_Oh_."

The blonde rolled his eyes in front of the mirror, "You're such a dumbass, you know that?"

"Okay, okay!" Byrne put his hands up, "I'm sorry. I honestly didn't know."

Link gave a huff and straightened out his shirt. He ran his hands through his hair again.

"Yeah, it's fine," Link shrugged it off and Byrne sat back down on the bench with their bags, "Alright. I need your opinion on something. Earrings or no earings?" Link asked, pointing to his purple double piercings, "Zel's parents are pretty old fashioned."

Byrne threw his hands up, "Uh, excuse me?" He gestured to himself, "Single," Link gazed at him, blankly, and he continued, "You really want my advice on how to win over a girl's parents?"

"Right. No earrings, then," Link said, undoing the backs of the studs before walking over to his bag on the bench and slipping them in, "You know, you should get into the dating scene. It's a lot of fun. It'll get you out of the house for once. What do you do all day besides play videogames?"

"I don't really play videogames all that often," Byrne commented, "I dunno, fencing?" He laughed, "I read. I play guitar. I hang out with Nabooru and her crazy friends. Ralis has been emailing me about his trip overseas…"

Link shouldered his bag and stood, looming over Byrne, "You're practically a shut in. Come on. There's gotta be a girl you like."

Byrne groaned, "Why are you so interested in my love life? Or, lack thereof? I'm allowed to be single if I want, right?"

Link laughed, "You're miserable. Like, all the time. Would you at least consider it?"

Byrne rolled his eyes and huffed. Link grinned, glaring at Byrne, waiting for him to crack.

Byrne sighed, "Okay, if you really want to know, there's this girl at the café."

"Alright. Which one?" Link crossed his arms.

"You know! It's the one right across the street from the creepy mask shop."

"The Great Deku Tree Café?" Link inquired, a blonde eyebrow rising, "I've been there a couple of times. Hold on, I've never seen you there."

"What?" Byrne scoffed, "I get an iced chai every morning. Anyway, there's this girl always sitting by the window. It looks like she's studying music theory, or something. I haven't been able to look too closely."

"Iced chai? Seriously? You're so weird," Link responds, dryly, "Okay, continue. What's she like?"

"I haven't ever talked to her."

Link threw his hands up, "Then go talk to her! Get up, move your butt, and talk to her. You're musical, right? Talk to her about guitar, or something. Or just say hello so she knows you exist," Link recrossed his arms, turning, "I'd love to stick around and chat for longer, but I have to go. Aryll has a dance recital tonight, and since I have the car have to drop her off before I go meet Zelda's parents."

Link slipped on a pair of shiny black dress shoes and headed out towards the door. Byrne sprang up, stretched with a grunt, and followed his friend, shouldering his bag on the way out. They exited the locker rooms and traveled down long quiet hallways.

"Hey," Byrne said, in parting at the school entrance, "Good luck tonight, yeah? Not that you'll need it."

Link pivoted and grinned, "Yeah, thanks. And you too. Text me and tell me how things go with this new girl."

* * *

Byrne mounted his bike and headed off. Down the streets he rode, sweating in the heavy heat of the late afternoon sun. Occasionally he would tip a water bottle back he had stashed in the holder between his legs, but the water was warm and stale tasting. He mentally chastised himself for not packing an extra bottle. He had brought full liter for practice with Link, he had already drank it all and he didn't want to carry extra weight on his back while he rode up and down hills.

As he passed through town, weaving off and on the pale sidewalk, he caught sight of the creepy mask shop and paused. Squeezing the breaks, he jumped off the bike and locked it against a street sign.

"Hi, can I help you?" The café girl asked the Lokomo, cheerfully, "Try the daily specials! We have chilled Goronade and freshly made Deku Sprout smoothies."

"Can I just have some iced raspberry juice?" Byrne asked, and she nodded.

"Ok, and what size will that be?"

"Large, for here."

"Coming right up!"

Byrne handed her a blue rupee in exchange for his drink. He wandered over to one of the wooden tables and sat down, stashing his bag beneath the seat. Leaning back he took stock of café. It was really slow during this time. There were only four other customers seated.

He wiped away the condensation from the edge of his chilled drink and took a sip. The seat by the far window near the café entrance was, disappointingly, void of the blonde girl he was accustomed to seeing hunched over a binder of sheet music.

His heart sank a little and he smirked at his own foolishness. Why did he even expect her to be there? She must only come during the morning.

Finishing off his drink, he placed the glass at a bussing station and left, unlocking and remounting his bike to return home to his aunt.

* * *

**AN**: I hope this was sufficient. My whole goal in writing these stories for LOZ was to experiment with the first person, but I guess I relapsed. Oops. Leave a review, or PM me if it's easier. Tell me what you like and what you hate, please. It makes me a little uncomfortable writing blind to an audience who gives no feedback, negative or positive. Thank you, and take care!


	2. Chapter 2

Link paced before the heavy mansion doors agitatedly. Zelda's estate was massive. It could have been taken directly from a posh movie set. He had felt his mouth go dry when announcing his arrival at the gates into a speaker, and when the gates lifted to welcome him, for just a moment, he wondered if he should turn around and leave.

He hadn't of course. What kind of boyfriends would do something that cowardly? All it was going to be was a meeting, right? They would sit down, eat, exchange pleasantries, and get to know one another. Things were going to be fine.

Yeah right.

In all honestly, he thought his heart was going to burst from his chest any minute. He couldn't remember feeling this nervous since…well, ever. A week ago, Zelda told him he was going to meet her parents. He was like: okay, cool. I can do this. Can't be too hard, can it?  
Then he found out that Zelda's father was Daphnes Hylia. As in, THE DAPHNES HYLIA. You know, founder and CEO of one of the largest industrialized magic corporations in Hyrule. Yeah, him. Link wouldn't be surprised if he dropped in for dinner right through the ceiling from his private jet.

Oh, Link knew that Zelda was rich, and that her last name was Hylia. But Daphnes was practically a divine figure in his mind, so he never even thought to put two and two together.

See, Link would consider his family middle class. They definitely weren't struggling – his parents had the occasional dispute over money when times were lean, but that was fairly natural, and he usually got whatever he wanted and paid for at least half of it himself.

He as probably a lot better off than Byrne, who lived off his aunt's government pensions, but he wasn't so la-ti-da wealthy to be considered anywhere near being in the same class as Zelda's family.

This was the cause of his anxiety. He didn't want to look like the kid who was after her money or something stupid like that.

He paused every once in awhile to straighten his shirt, rub a persistent crease out of his black pants, before continuing to mill. It was nearly dusk, the light above his head attracted swarms of insects. He just needed to take one more deep breath before ringing the doorbell with a, "Good evening, Sir or Ma'am," on his lips.

The door opened and he jumped back with a short cry. Zelda grinned back at him as he recovered.

"Hey, goofball," The brunette addressed him, "I thought I saw you walk up here. Come on in."

He entered and took his shoes off before following Zelda into the kitchen.

"Wow, you look amazing!" He said, coming in and giving her a hug.

"Hey, thanks! You clean up well yourself. Wait here a moment," She instructed, flashing a smile, "Let me go get my parents, okay?"

Link nodded, his nerves on fire as Zelda spun away in a beautiful purple gown. After her departure, his eyes meandered around the room of high ceilings and glass sculptures. From the cabinetry to the counters, the kitchen itself was probably worth a fortune. He let out a low toned whistle that echoed across the resonant whitewashed walls. Yes, Zelda's parents were definitely loaded, and that could only mean that they were going to be both overbearing and unforgiving.

Not wanting to touch anything, Link crept out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the table was already set with silverware and napkins fancily. He felt like he was movie. Any second now the royalty was going to come flowing down the stairs to receive him, he was sure of it.

"Ahem."

Link spun around and barely avoided shouting out again. There, standing before him in a sharp looking suit, was Zelda's father. He was a rather tall man with a face unaccustomed to looking all that stern, but tonight was a blatant exception.

"Hello, you must be Link," He said in a trembling baritone, "My name is Mr. Daphnes Hylia.

Link nodded with a "Hm,", unable to articulate a sentence beyond that utterance.

"My daughter hasn't told me very much about you, aside that you're fencing team captain," Daphnes prompted, leaving his sentence purposefully open-ended.

"Hm!" The blonde teen pulled at his collar, face flushing, "Hm!"

Daphnes lifted a brown eyebrow, "Honey?" He shouted to the hallway, putting a hand on Link's shoulder, "You're not having an allergic reaction, son, are you?"

Link began to make strangled sounds from the back of his throat. Tears began to leak from the boy's eyes, and his face continued to flush a darker shade of red with each passing moment. Daphnes leapt to his feet, "Honey! Get the Epinephrine pen!"

There was the sound of thudding footsteps overhead and Zelda came running down.

"Mom's still getting changed –" Zelda stopped at the outrageous scene in front of her.

"Breathe with me, boy!" Daphnes roared, kneeling beside a purple-faced Link, "From you diaphragm! I know Gerudo Yogi breathing techniques. You're going to be alright! That's right, in-out-in-out…"

Link!" Zelda knelt beside her boyfriend and pressed her palms to his face, "What's happening to you?"

"Hm-hm-hm!HM!" Link squealed from the back of his throat, shaking with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Zelda pressed a hand to the back of her head where her hair was braided in disbelief. What was going on? What a disaster!

In removing her hand, she caught sight of a wisp of dark magic leaving her fingers. She brought her hand to her face and sniffed. A silencing charm? The brunette's eyes widened in horror, which quickly morphed to anger as she drew herself upright, figuring the mechanics of a counterspell in her mind.

"I have it!" Zelda's mother came rushing down the stairs with an elongated box in her hand, "I have the Epipen."

"No, wait!" Zelda blocked her mother with her arm. She knelt before Link, whose eyes were sealed shut with embarrassment, and waved her hand, undoing the spell, "Link? Say something. Are you alright?"

Link's eyes slowly opened, "Can I go home now?" He whispered, timidly.

Zelda's parents let out a pair of relieved sighs. At his wanting to leave, or the fact that he wasn't dying in their kitchen anymore, Zelda was unsure. Maybe both.

The brunette helped her boyfriend to his feet with a scowling expression.

The date was ruined. Her boyfriend would probably dump her for that scare. She set her jaw.

_Midna!_

* * *

All Byrne really wanted to do was take a shower, finish summer reading a book for school and go to bed. Fencing with Link hadn't really left him that tired, but the conversation the two had had spurred thoughts that wouldn't stop rotating inside his head, leaving him exhausted.

After returning home a sweaty mess, he and Anjean went for a routine grocery run. As Anjean ran about in her usual enthusiastic manner, he had to keep running after her, putting back things she grabbed off the shelf they didn't need.

Her dementia was getting worse. She would confuse days, especially holidays and forget people's birthdays. She would sometimes forget recent events, and her childhood memory was fragmented at best.

She would also lose track of the things she was doing, as seen in going to the store and finding half the ingredients for baking a cake, and half the ingredients for making a casserole. All of which Byrne put back, of course. They were there to buy ingredients for lasagna, something he had to remind her of at least twice.

In the midst of reading the back of a packaging label to make sure there weren't any traces of lactose in the tomato paste can (factories these days!) Anjean said something which got to him.

"Did you see those lovely ladies over there?" She pointed with her eyes, "Byrne, why don't you say hello?"

Byrne glanced over his shoulder and watched three pretty Hylian girls chatter noisily in the middle of an aisle. He turned away and shrugged, placing two cans of the tomato paste in the cart.

"You know I worry about you sometimes. You do such a great job taking care of me, I never see you having fun," his aunt admitted affectionately, and Byrne felt a pulling at his heart,"Oh, that reminds me. Do you know if Carben will make it for dinner tonight? Should we make more food?"

Byrne shook his head, not wanting to rehash the disaster that occurred the last time they went shopping where he had to remind Anjean that Carben had died and that she attended his funeral.

After returning home and making diner, he stood, washing dishes, thinking about the girl in the café.

_Why do people want me in a relationship?_ He wondered, bitterly. Once finished, he took a quick shower. Hanging up the towel and retreating to his room, Byrne sat on his bed to think.

The truth was: he was bored. He had things with which to occupy himself, but really it was all a rouse since he rarely played music for anyone but himself, and he hardly knew anyone on the fencing team except for Link.

His life seemed to revolve around keeping Anjean out of trouble and surviving high school. Maybe he should talk to the girl…

Tiring of his circulating thoughts, he pulled his guitar out and strummed. As he did, the sudden thought of Link meeting Zelda's parents popped into his head. Reaching for his phone he texted : How'd it go?

After twenty minutes without an answer, Byrne sighed and fell back against his bed.

* * *

Link awoke when his bed undulated from beneath him.

"Crap!" He yelled as his younger sister, who excitedly jumped up and down on his bed, "Aryll, get out of my room!"

"How'd your date with Zelda's parents go?" She slid off his bed and towered over him.

"Go away," He repeated, shoving her away, "NOW!"

She stuck her tongue out, "You're no fun. Then again, you're a BOY, so that shouldn't be such a surprise."

Link kicked out with his foot from underneath the sheets. Aryll danced out of the way and slammed his door shut, "Good morning to you too, grumpy pants! By the way, it's almost 10. " She screeched through the door.

"Whatever!" He called back, reaching for his charging phone on the nightstand.

He found a long text from Zelda and spent about seven minutes reading an apology letter she must have typed out last night. From the sounds of things, she really seemed worried that he was going to dump her. He sighed in relief. She seemed more worried about him and his feelings than what a fool he'd made of himself last night.

_Midna_, he thought, shaking his head. He responded: NP. Don't stress. I actually thought ur dad's kinda cool…Wat do u want 2 do 2 M?

If he had to be fairly honest, last night was probably one of the worst nights of his life. He had never felt so humiliated and vulnerable in front of anyone. He sort of hoped that if he ignored the fact, then maybe the event would retreat from everyone's minds.

He found Byrne's text next and laughed. He called the other boy's phone. This was definitely a story that had to be _told_.

The phone rang until voicemail picked up.

"Hey, got your text. Call me, alright?" He said before hanging up.

The blonde stretched with an audible yawn. He had a Captain's meeting with Impa at twelve, and last time she gave him the hairy eyeball for being two minutes late. That Sheikah was a Type-A, OCD psycho…

"Well," He grunted to the half-finished owl carving on his nightstand, "Time to be productive."

* * *

Byrne had exactly two minutes to stop in the café before going to help Nabooru set up for the new student induction. He raced, pedaling as fast as he could down the street. He didn't even bother to lock his bike, rather, he left it lying on its side, a gear still spinning off to the side.

The glass door slid open with a chime. He was greeted by a chorus of "Welcome" by the three café girls.

He nodded and walked straight over to the window.

There she was, sitting, hunched over a black binder. She wore a thin, blue dress with utilitarian boots. Long, silvery blonde hair spilled around lightly tanned skin and around a white scarf. A with one hand she balanced a steaming mug of coffee, the other traveled across the music before her, all the while her head swayed to an unheard tune.

He walked up to her, feeling like electricity was jumping from beneath his skin. The girl looked up, curiously. When their eyes met, both parties dropped their jaws.

_Oh, shit…_A small piece of paper slipped from Byrne's lax grip.

_She's a Sheikah. _

Byrne glanced down at the item he'd dropped. She followed his gaze, face flushing in recognition of what it was.

"I-I…" Byrne stuttered.

The girl suddenly put her mug down, forcefully onto the table, and crossed her arms defensively. When Byrne opened his mouth to try to say something else, pan flute notes blasted from his pocket.

He dove his hand into his sweatshirt and retrieved his phone.

"S-sorry!" He managed, before darting out of the café. He jumped onto his bike, nerves on fire, and pedaled off, feeling sick.

Upon reaching the school, he locked his bike and checked his phone.

One missed call from Link.

He leaned against the red brick of the building, realizing what he had left on the table of the café.

_Screw it…it's already done_, he reasoned.

* * *

Sheik sat, spine straightened and tried to regain her composure. Her cheeks were still flushed after that Lokomo boy went running out of the café. A few of the other customers were still staring, and she had to pretend not to notice.

She slowly moved her hand over to the slip of paper the boy had left. She picked it up, stiffly, and read it:

Byrne of the Lokomo – 3-141-5926

She folded the paper in her hand and gazed out the window in contemplation, features softening. Suddenly, her eyes brightened, and she quickly made to pack away her things.


	3. Chapter 3

Impa was waiting for him, arms crossed, hip cocked smugly. The tall yet robust Sheikah wore a purple athletic hoodie and black yoga pants, giving her the ninja-assassin vibe she was well known for. She had taken to a spiky pixie cut for the summer again, whether her unusual light grey hair was natural by some bizarre genetic mishap or dyed was still a hot topic of debate.

The whitewashed walls of the gymnasium were stark in the afternoon light. Link jogged out to the center of the hardwood floor where Impa had stacked papers and blank signs.

"You made it on time," she voiced with mock surprise, "An improvement."

"Yeah, yeah," Link waved the comment off with annoyance. Sure, technically the Sheikah was six months older than him, a fact she made sure he knew well, but did that really give her the right to act so damn condescending to him? "Let's get to business already."

"I went through and phoned the incoming freshmen who expressed interest in joining this year. Here's a list," She handed him a clipboard.

Link's eyes scanned the page, blue eyes widening, "Holy crap, that's a lot."

"I have also taken inventory of our equipment. We are short on uniforms. I emailed Coach Rusl and he's ordering a surplus in anticipation for the flood of student interest that the start of the school year will bring."

"Awesome," Link noted, "Really nice work, Impa. So we're here to put together posters and signs."

"That and determine our freshman integration plan."

Link puzzled, "The what?"

"The freshman integration plan," she repeated, "It's a new thing the school's implementing everywhere, especially in co-curricular activities. We have to – " She suddenly cut off, red eyes narrowing at something behind Link.

Link spun around as a tall, burly boy with a flash of flame colored hair stalked up to the center of the gymnasium, a bouquet of bold, red roses between thick, pudgy fingers.

"Groose," Impa practically growled, "What do you want?"

The boy lit a dazzling smile, "I'm here to see my favorite woman," He offered her the roses, "I bought these earlier today because they reminded me of your eyes."

Impa snatched the bouquet from the boy's hands, stalked over to the far wall and threw them violently into the garbage can.

Link let out an exclamation. Groose appeared unmoved, "I'm free all week, in case you were wondering," He said as the Sheikah sauntered back.

"No thank you," Impa responded, darkly, "Now leave. Link and I are busy."

Groose flashed her another smile before turning and jogging out. Link went over to the garbage can.

"What the hell was that about?" He called to Impa, who was already sitting and working on a poster, "And jeez, you could have given them to me. They're ruined now."

Impa looked up and regarded him, "Why? So you could give them to Zelda?"

Link joined her on the floor, grabbing a sharpie and a poster, "Well, yeah. Why not? They were perfectly good roses."

Impa let out a _hmph_, "You're awfully cheap you know that? Zelda could do so much better than you."

Link's ran his tongue across his teeth, "What the hell?"

She refused to acknowledge him.

* * *

Nabooru wasn't your average student at the Hylian Academy. She was what most parents would call "troubled" in hushed tonse, and the teachers "her own person" with expressions of dread slowly spreading across their features.

As a member of the infamous Gerudo, she happened to inherit their most discernible traits: flowing red hair, rich sun kissed skin, expressive amber eyes, fluid reflexes, and lusty form. At the same time, she also happened to inherit the absolute worst habits of her long dead ancestors: kleptomania, narcissism, compulsive lying, and the nasty penchant of getting into trouble(and as a result, an even greater affinity for slipping out of it). Like a mischievous spite, she only seemed to happen upon places, never lingering. And no one really knew what she up to when she disappeared.

She greeted Byrne as he walked into the school band room. The slim Gerudo slid off a cabinet and stretched while Byrne gathered his bearings.

"So, what's with you?" She asked, slyly.

"Me? Nothing's up with me," Byrne responded, quickly.

Too quickly.

If Nabooru were in a mood, she would press him on whatever happenings were going on in his life. For amusement, maybe she would. Byrne's life was like a cycle of depression, and the gods always threw something stupid his way.

He was oddly open to her. It might have had something to do with her admitting to him that she wasn't sure if she preferred girls or boys when they were in band together, but they were privy to each other's secrets and she had always been there to offer a shoulder to cry on during middle school. Not today, it would appear. Today, he was like a clam in cold water.

"I'm great, thanks for asking," Nabooru chimed up.

"Hm."

"Ready for this exciting shit we've got to do?"

"Yeah, let's begin setting up," Byrne cleared his throat, setting his eyes to the task at hand, "let's start with the percussion."

They spent an hour hauling musical equipment up several flights of stairs to the auditorium. By the end, both were exhausted. As they sat on the stage to rest Byrne was still stuck in some sort of fog, so Nabooru left with a wave and a "see ya later."

The fresh air was invigorating. The heat of the day beat down upon her dark brow, setting her red hair alight. She stopped by a pharmacy, waving at the store clerk with a wide smile, lulling the bored looking idiot into a false sense of security.

She snatched key chains from racks, those chemical-ly tasting candies from depressed looking shelves, coupons for laundry detergent, stashing the bounty in pockets and spaces unseen.

It was like she couldn't help her hands. If she had the patience to explain it to someone, then maybe it would be like spilling a box of crayons all over the desk of someone with severe OCD. It simply felt more wrong not to take things than to leave them be.

She grabbed a pack of tampons and paid for them at the front, smirking as the man averted his eyes. This one was hardly a challenge, she thought as she left. At the first chance she got, she promptly threw the feminine product into a trash can.

In strolling down the sidewalk, unwrapping one of those disgusting candies, she felt eyes watching her. Her heart began thudding uncomfortably in her chest. After several minutes of this feeling building in her gut, she finally turned and leaned nonchalantly against the windowpane of a wedding shop.

Across the way, a petite blonde girl mirrored her actions against the rust colored brick of a video rental store. She wore too-tight beige pants, a blue vest over a white blouse, and a red bandana tucked neatly around her throat. The Hylian tossed a set of windswept bangs out of dark brown eyes and crossed sun-burnt arms.

The girl lowered her eyes very ostentatiously to the candy in Nabooru's hands, which the Gerudo promptly stuck into her mouth. Nabooru forced herself to chew, even as the girl cast her gaze in the direction of the pharmacy and then met her eyes once again with a raised eyebrow.

Nabooru shrugged with a jack-ass smile and left, heading straight for home. Upon reaching her house, she ran straight to her room to put away her loot. As she rummaged through bins filled to the brim with last week's nonsense trinkets, she began to panic.

That was the twelfth time she caught this mysterious girl following her. It started suddenly at the beginning of summer. At first she thought it was coincidental. But then she began to notice a certain pattern. The mysterious girl would only appear during mid-to-late afternoon, always with a red bandana tied around her neck. And always it would be after a particularly successful raid.

Yes, this mysterious girl was definitely a stalker, and would probably end up getting Nabooru in a shitload of trouble if this pattern continued.

She grabbed everything: paperclipped coupons sorted by product and purpose, candies, gums, vitamin bottles, aspirin tablets, writing utensils, erasers, ink cartridges, staples, fabrics, needles, threads, folding papers, fans. She threw it all into a trash bag and ran out to the dumpster to toss it in.

Just like she did every week.

* * *

"Excuse me, what?" The store clerk gaped at her, wide-eyed in disbelief.

Tetra nodded, solemnly, "She robbed you. I saw it through the window," she pointed behind her to the merchandise. She proceeded to list as many of the items she could remember off the top of her head that she could recall seeing the Gerudo snatch from the shelves.

The clerk held his head, "Oh my word. I never would have known!" He let out a moan, "My boss is going to kill me."

"Don't stress. Here, I'll pay for whatever she took. I mean it," She pulled out her wallet and began sorting through her cash.

"Oh, you really shouldn't," The clerk waved her away, taking out his own wallet and pulling out several rupees, "This was all my fault. I should have been more attentive. Thank you so much for telling me. Not many people would do that, you know."

She acknowledged him with a tilt of her head, "Well, she does this a lot. She picks new places every week…She's…a friend-of-a-friend, of sorts. I gotta look after her, right?"

"You know, it's people like that girl who belong behind bars," He gazed sternly at her, "If you want to look after her, you should report her to the police the next time this happens. Stop throwing your money away."

She crossed her arms, making ready to leave, "Trust me, I know an annoying _prankster_ who'd belong better behind bars than her."

The clerk bid her farewell, "Well, I'll take your word for it. Thank you again. Good luck looking after your…friend-of-a-friend."

* * *

Byrne burst out laughing, holding his gut with one hand, slapping the wood of the stage with the other. Link's story was prime blackmail material.

"Dude, did you end up staying?" Byrne finally managed through after-chuckles.

"Hell no," Link snapped, "That was the craziest moment of my life."

"What did Zelda have to say about it?" Byrne asked after another round of laughter.

"Zel sent me this long text this morning saying she was sorry about what happened," Link responded with a nod, "So, I think our relationship is safe…for now."

"For now," Byrne intoned, ominously.

Link swatted him. Byrne swatted back a little harder. The blonde reached for Byrne's ponytail and the larger boy scooted away.

"Oh, no you don't!" Byrne threw his hands up, "We are not starting this again!"

Link smirked, "So…café girl?" He leaned forward, "Is she hot?"

Byrne let out a groan, pulling his face with both hands.

Link scowled, "Oh…so, not? Did something happen?"

"No…" Byrne let out a deep sigh, "It's just…complicated. Can we not talk about this? Please?"

"Hell no. We are talking about this," Link jumped up on the stage to sit next to the Lokomo, "I just shared with you the most humiliating moment of my entire life. Do you really think you can get by with not telling me about what went down between you and this girl?"

Byrne gave him a withering look, "Nothing happened."

"Uh huh." Link intoned, sarcastically, "Sure it did."

"No, seriously. Nothing literally happened," Byrne spoke with obtuse gestures, "I walked in, found out she's a Sheikah, accidentally dropped my number that I stupidly wrote on a sheet of paper, and ran out."

"Woah, woah, woah. Back up." Link made a rewind gesture with his hand, "First, what's wrong with the Sheikah? Second, you ran out? You gotta be joking me."

Byrne pulled his face again, "Look, the Lokomo and the Sheikah aren't exactly friendly towards each other. Have you ever seen me and Impa hanging out and being nice?"

Link snorted, "Byrne. Nobody. NOBODY hangs out with Impa. She's a bitch to everyone. Bad example. Continue, please."

"Look, that's really all there is too it," Byrne sighed, "She has my number now, and she probably won't call since she knows I'm a Lokomo. But you know what? That's just fine. I don't need a relationship, nor do I really want one, thank you very much."

Byrne quieted and refused to continue that line of conversation. The two boys sat and chatted idly about fencing. Before long, Byrne finally got up to leave, shuffling to the door of the auditorium rather abjectly.

Link bid him well and exited the back way where his car was parked in the lot. Byrne sauntered across the grass over to his bike.

The ride home was peaceful enough. The afternoon sun was unrelenting, but Byrne trained his focus on how the light flashed off windows and car mirrors prettily than how hot it was. He slowed down near the café, peering in through the windows for a moment, but pedaled off when he saw the empty seat by the window.

He really was silly to think that any sort of relationship, any sort of happiness, would come out of this lame scheme he thought up all because his friend seemed happy with his new girlfriend and relationship drama...

Drama. There was something he needed more in his life not. Between the death of his parents and having to take care of his aging aunt, a bit of teen normalacy was something he wished he could have. Speaking of his aunt, he needed to hurry home to make sure Anjean was alright.

By the time the Lokomo went to bed, it was rather late by his standards. The clock read eleven thirty, which certainly wasn't horrible, but considering he had practice the next day at seven thirty, he would have preferred going to bed earlier. He closed the windows to the house, silencing the cricket nightsong, and double checked to the doors to make sure they were all locked. Just as he was stumbling into his bedroom, pan flute notes sang from his nightstand. Byrne snatched his phone and brought it up to his ear.

"Hello?"He said, groggily.

"Um…Hello? Is this…Byrne? Did I get that name right?" A very timid, very _feminine_ voice asked.

Byrne felt his heart soar into his throat, "Yes, speaking. Who is this?"

"Hi," the voice responded, shakily. She took a breath over the line, "My name is Sheik. I'm the…girl from the café."

* * *

**AN:** Hi there. Special thanks to ZtheSOI for the continued support on this story.

Any thoughts? Confusion? How many people out there actually like this story at all?


	4. Chapter 4

Impa hardly suppressed the groan that escaped her lips.

_Those idiotic boys._

Earlier that morning, Coach Rusl called and told her that practice was cancelled. As team captain, it was her job to make sure that everyone got the memo. She played phone tag, contacted everyone on the team and delivered the news. Apparently, she had overestimated stupidity once again.

Link and Byrne stood, leaning against the bike rack, having something of a conversation. If one could call Link's cheering Byrne on as the Lokomo shoveled ice cream into this mouth. She watched them with an unmasked look of bewilderment on her face.

As she coasted along the sidewalk on her bike, the thought of not even bothering to tell them crossed her mind. She had emailed them, texted them, even called their phones. And of course they never responded or picked up. Yes, perhaps leaving them to sweat outside for a couple of hours would teach them a lesson. After all, she couldn't be responsible for them. It was hard to believe they were almost adults, what with all of the hand holding they apparently needed to survive life.

As she debated this thought, lightly applying pressure on the brakes in contemplation, destiny decided to intervene. The stupid Lokomo boy turned from his conversation with Link and caught her eye. As a result, Byrne choked on his ice cream. It was not surprising, considering the outrageously large bites he had been taking. His form heaved, Link rushed forward to pound a fist on his back, and a large globule of half-saliva,half-green-malt plopped out of his mouth and onto the hot sidewalk.

Sometimes, she wondered if she was even part of the same species as the two, multi-celled somethings in front of her.

"Nice!" Link clapped Byrne on the shoulder as the other boy wiped his mouth.

Impa put her foot down, stopping herself from running over the ice cream on the ground. She eyed it for a moment longer before turning her attention to the two boys.

"Practice is canceled, " She reported in a clipped tone.

"Wha-?"

"Oh..that's what the email alert was about."

"What email alert?"

Impa's eyes nearly rolled out of her skull.

"You've got a smartphone, Link. Use it," Byrne scratched his neck, embarrassed, "Uh…thanks…Impa.

"Yeah." She responded, turning the bike around, "Well, goodbye."

"Wait…"

Impa turned over her shoulder, a light grey eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"What, Byrne?"

"I…"Byrne struggled to find words for a moment, like he'd suddenly lost the ability to speak the English language. "I think you've got a…" He made an ambiguous gesture.

Impa looked down and flexed her hands. Groose had dropped by her house that morning to give her a gift. There was a rose petal on her grey hoodie. One she viciously knocked off her shoulder with a snarl. Just the thought of how Groose had known where she lived gave her chills. Really, how dare that mongrel continue to pursue her? Perhaps she should tell him the truth; that she was seeing someone. A very special someone. A man who she had to keep secret, or else risk bringing shame down onto her family... Then again, she shouldn't even have to tell him anything, let alone have any sort of interaction with the boy. She had made herself clear: she wasn't interested.

Impa made to leave, but was interrupted once again.

"Wait, Impa…"

"What now, Byrne?" She snapped.

"…nothing…nevermind," Byrne shook his head, abashed, "Just..have a nice day."

She turned and left.

Now that that incredibly awkward situation was over and done with, she could head to the library to get some work done. She still had two of seven papers to write before school started. It wasn't that she had been procrastinating, but rather, life had gift-wrapped the perfect screw ball to throw her off kilter.

Sometimes life does that. Life has a sense of humor. Said sense of humor often comes at the expense of these toiling little creatures called humans. But humans are so inconsequential anyways, so what's the harm?

Well, Impa could find many flaws in that sort of logic, the first being that she doesn't believe in personifying life. One thing she can't find fault in is the fact that everyone is a victim of something in some way, shape or form. Why her cousin had to be disowned and unceremoniously kicked out of her house was beyond her. Why said cousin needed to come live with her, share her room, and consume her time was something only the gods knew.

She pedaled off, not giving such thoughts more time than they deserved.

* * *

Upon the departure of Crazy-Bitch-Numero-Uno, Link and Byrne continued to converse.

"So, you're sure you don't want to date her?" Link didn't need to clarify who he was talking about.

"…I dunno," Byrne finally admitted with a shrug.

"What's this? A shift in heart?"

"What are you even talking about?"

Link lifted three fingers, "This is the number of times you've told me you absolutely, positively, have no interest in seeing this girl. Within the past hour, I might add."

"Then why the hell are you still asking me about it?" Byrne crossed his arms and laughed uncomfortably, "Yeah, well…I mean she called me last night."

"Wait? What? Why am I only hearing this now? You should have texted me!"

"Sorry…"

"So? What did she say?"

"Not much. She wanted to make sure I was alright, I guess. I think I spooked her when I ran out of the café."

"I still can't believe you did that," The blonde commented.

"Yeah, well there isn't much I can do about that now. I dunno…I should just forget about the whole thing."

"Byrne!" Link screamed to the heavens, "You are such an idiot! Oh, my gods!"

Byrne scowled, darkly, "Wow. Okay. My best friend just turned into a girl. What is your problem?"

"Says the guy who was PMSing all day yesterday," Link rebounded, "You. You are my problem, Byrne. And I mean that in the kindest way possible."

"Uh…thanks," Byrne shook off the oxymoronic comment.

"Ok, Mr. Mopey. You were totally upset yesterday. And she called you! She reached out to you. She's interested! Better get on that now, or you'll miss your chance," Link punched Byrne's shoulder lightly, "I'm just trying to look out for you, man. Alright, maybe dating isn't the way to go about this, but would you at least try? I mean, don't you want to be happy?

"Listen," Byrne heaved a sigh, "I appreciate you caring about me and all. I really, really do. The thing is… I guess I really just don't want to rush into this. I'm…"

"Scared?"

"I was going to say 'undecided'."

"Is it the whole Sheikah-Lokomo thingy?"

"Yeah, I guess it's part of it…there are a lot of factors."

_Maybe a little scared…_ He thought.

Byrne had never actually been in a relationship before. The thought was quite daunting.

_Alright, maybe a lot._

"It's alright to be scared. I was terrified when I asked Zelda. It took me forever to figure out how to open up, and I would never regret it."

Byrne considered Link's words carefully. Now that he thought about it, he could remember the blonde's frantic mannerisms and abruptness around the time he had asked Zelda on their first date. For some reason he never connected the two. In this new light, he felt his heart flutter momentarily in hope, but he quickly squashed the feeling.

"Right…I dunno," He responded.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't know!"

"Okay, okay. I'll drop the subject."

"…Thank you."

"Yeah, sure."

"I really …thanks."

* * *

When Link returned home, he went straight to his room and tossed his athletic bag in the corner. His room was a box, green – his favorite color, with a wide window overlooking the grassy backyard. As the nest of a teenage boy, it was the very definition of a disaster, save for the one corner of the room holding videogame consoles and a laptop computer. That was just sacrosanct.

The large broad leaves of a tree Link used to use to escape his room when he was younger, lighter, less likely to break young branches, brushed the pane as a breeze swept by. Link opened the window to let the air circulate, agitating the hundreds of wood shavings littering the floor.

He had opted not to clean the floor quite yet, even though already had been told to do so. Link's mother had dropped by earlier. Upon poking her head in, she quickly found her son and handed him the mini vacuum cleaner, claiming she'd nearly swooned having walked into the result of "a woodchuck mowed down by a tornado". So the vacuum cleaner remained, sitting, neglected, on Link's bed, leaning haphazardly to the side, ready to tip over at any second.

He picked up the owl carving on his nightstand and glared at it critically. He could see all of the miniscule mistakes he'd made in the wood, the slight asymmetry, a stray mark. It made him seethe with anger, towards himself mostly. They were all his mistakes.

"Is that for Zelda?"

Link gave a start and flicked his eyes to the door. His pigtailed younger sister stood in the doorway, hands on hips. She wore blue, her favorite color, in the form of a long dress that reached her ankles. She stood with a presence, as if to say: look at me! I'm in your room! So what are you going to do about it?

"Yes. And it's killing me..." He grumbled.

It really felt like too. He'd spent the past two days whittling away, trying to make something nice for Zelda's birthday. The usual flowers, card, and expensive bracelet or necklace had crossed his mind, but he felt that anything he could get her would pale in comparison to what her other friends and parents could get her. He felt badly at first before a crazy idea popped into his head.

Not only were owls a symbol of wisdom, but they were also very cute. Although he would have preferred taking on a more adventurous project such as a dragon, he wasn't sure if Zelda would appreciate something quite so fierce.

Then again, what was a carving compared to bracelets, roses, and cards? It was bizarre for a gift.

"Oh, good. It's nice to see you in pain for once. You know, you used to sit on me when I was four. I still remember your stinky butt. I wonder if I should tell Zelda."

Link pointed, "Get outta my room, Aryll. N-O-W."

She remained standing in the doorway, half to see if he would get angry and blow a gasket. Half to see if he wouldn't. When he didn't say anything, she ventured further into his room and sat on his bed to keep the vacuum cleaner company.

"If it means anything, I think it's pretty cool. It's a little weird, but still cool. I mean, at least you're killing yourself to do something nice for her. I don't think Zelda gets many handmade presents," She stated.

Link's heart lightened for a moment. Then perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea. He ran his fingers over the wood again in a vain attempt to ease out the unwanted marks, and his worries.

"She'll be getting super elegant stuff. It'll be nice to have something to break that norm."

Link bit his lip before responding, "How would you know?"

"You only talk about her _all the freaking time_. I got that she was rich the two-hundred-and-seventieth time you mentioned it."

Link ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah. I know."

"Keep going with it," She finally lit from the bed and nudged him with her foot, "And your room needs cleaning."

"Whatever."

She turned and walked through his doorway, pausing.

"I'm going to go watch TV. I 'practiced' my violin, riiiight?" She grinned at him deviously.

"Aryll!"

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

Nabooru was pissed.

They were standing out on a smooth sidewalk beneath a glowing lamppost across the street from one of the 24 hour stores Nabooru had robbed earlier last week. She'd kept herself away from the stores all day. Now that it was almost ten at night, having run into the girl with the bandana was definitely frightening. How the hell did she know when to find her? Of course, her fear usually transmuted to anger.

Tetra pocketed her hands and glanced up at the rising moon.

"Enjoying the evening, how about you?"

"I think you're full of shit."

Tetra shrugged. Nabooru fumed.

"I think you've judged my character prematurely. Would you like to take a walk?"

Nabooru found herself somewhat caught off guard. She wasn't used to people disregarding her challenges. Her amber eyes narrowed in suspicion as her thoughts ran madly. What was she to do? It wouldn't be wise to go off with her stalker.

"How about you walk off a cliff instead," The Gerudo retorted, "and leave me alone. You don't know me. I don't care to know you."

"I wish you would hear me out." Tetra insisted with an earnest expression.

Nabooru began to walk off, "Stay the fuck away from me."

"Wait!"

Nabooru, against her better judgement, did wait. She turned and slid her back against the cement of an apartment building as the other girl briskly caught up. The fact remained that this girl knew about her kleptomania, and it was all in this stranger's power to get her sent to a juvenile detention center, or possibly worse considering she was almost an adult. Nabooru was stuck, and for now she hadn't figured any plans of getting herself unstuck. But she would. Pronto.

"Here," The girl pressed a slip of paper into Nabooru's hand, and she felt a shiver run down her spine at her touch. She caught a waft of the blonde's scent and it sent her head spinning.

The Gerudo glanced down at the sheet of paper in her hands.

_Hi. My name is Tetra. _

_271-828-18284_

_If you're interested_

Nabooru's thoughts came to a halt. Her mind, which had been reeling with half baked ideas on how to slip out of this mess, suddenly seemed to completely spazz out and was in need of a reboot. She stared dumbfounded at the sheet of paper for possibly a good four or five minutes before closing her jaw, swallowing, and glancing up.

The girl, Tetra, was gone.

Nabooru replayed the last interaction in her head at least a dozen times before very slowly pocketing the sheet of paper and turning to head home. She walked the lighted streets in a daze. She soon realized that she had not only been disarmed by the blonde, but also taken completely by surprise.

That was quite an accomplishment.

In the security of her own room, Nabooru took out the sheet of paper again and placed it on her nightstand to scrutinize. The wood of the desk remained uncluttered as she had just taken out her loot to the dumpster yesterday, so the paper was all that lay on it. She tapped her fingers in absent anxiety.

"What the hell was that?"

* * *

**AN:** I realize I haven't updated this in awhile. Sorry!


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